The Collington Limerick Challenge

Contributed by Marian Fuchs

The Collington Discussion-Group has brought news, gossip, amusement, entertainment, solace and comfort to residents during the covid crisis.  One thing it brought to its members in late April was a spurt of literary creativity in the form of limericks.   Here is the collection, introduced and curated by website editor, Julia Freeman.

The first one appeared on April 21, created by Lyle Dennison.  Following this, Nadine Hathaway issued a challenge to the community to keep sending more.  Residents responded for several days with 20 examples.

Here is Lyle’s first:

When facing a new kind of threat
We’re told to hide under the bed
But, really, THAT can’t be the solution:
Under there, dust is just more pollution
And the social distance makes us sick in the head.
Lyle Dennison Limerick

Lyle went on to post several more:

There once was a realtor from New Yawk
Who said covid was a day in the pawk
Soon we all realized, and now must remember
That a reckoning comes due in November
When those who survive can say, “Take a walk”

From a friendly source of an occasional rhyme.
An idled scribbler, shut in with too much time:

Being shutdown makes some kinda squirrely
Others are getting a bit surly
But good Santa, he loaned us some elves
Who fill up the Country Store shelves
And now we have Christmas early!

 Clap your hands for Dr. Fauci
(Don’t need to get all feely and touchy)
At the podium he’s really so great
Tells us the truth, full and straight
Best of all, he makes the President grouchy

The virus makes us so sad and blue
We have no real idea what to do
But no need to hurry
To be all fretful and worry
Cause the President says ’tis only the flu

The checks, they said, were going out soon,
Delighted, to Trump we cheered “You make us swoon!”
Then on TV we watched a White House brief,
And found,to our everlasting grief,
That their value will slump if banks open too soon

Nadine Hathaway got the challenge going with:

Wisely closed the schools, the eateries, the factory
But then so quickly came the quack-ery
“Scientists, doctors, what do they know?
We want football, a manicure, the rodeo!”
Good grief, me stay home and make a daiquiri

There once was a singer named Callas
Who told us she lived in a palace 
Her voice it did falter
Her fans they did alter
“You ought to sing more of de Lassus”

In no particular order, others rose to the challenge.

Marilyn Haskel:

First an oldie:

There once was an owl in a wood
Who sang hymns to himself when he could.
What the words were about
He could never make out,
But he felt it was doing him good. 

Now an original:

There once was a virus so cruel
That we shut every shop, church, and school.
What to do in this mess
We could barely assess,
But we all knew the 6-foot rule.

Don Lewis submitted:

Armageddon is on us I think
Peoples’ futures have gone down the sink
Covid, locusts, and war
Hatreds, famine, and more
And my coffee pot’s gone on the blink

Ben Hutchinson:

One of my all-time favorites:

A dashing young gourmet named Pettibone,
Took pate de foi gras and spread it on,
A chocolate biscuit; then murmured, “I’ll risk it!”
His tomb bears the date that he said it on.

Pat Howard:

A diner while dining at Crewe
Found a very large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter “Don’t shout
And wave it about,
Or the others will be wanting one too!”

Linda Ewald:

There once was a monk from Siberia
Life grew drearier and drearier.
Then strange to tell
He escaped from his cell
And eloped with the Mother Superior.

Dave Montgomery:

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why that was,
He replied “It’s because
I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”

Marion Henry:

I live with some wonderful folks
who share their thoughts and their jokes
though i am often weary
though never teary
I just wish this whole thing WAS a hoax

Steve Woodbury:

Though China was where it’s begun,
Now around the whole world it has run.
But for deaths and for cases,
Trump’s favorite phrase is:
“America’s now Number One!”
(Sad but true.  And avoidable.)

Dan Kelly:

To avoid catching Covid-19
Keep your distance, two meters between.
If Trump makes you grouchy
Just listen to Fauci;

you’re Irish, go lower poteen.  [Poteen (“pa-CHEEN”) = moonshine]

Ken Burton:

So the challenge may be “redux”,
But our present circumstance sucks.
Confined to our quarters,
We may all become hoarders,
One example of life now in flux.

George Newman:

The prez may think it’s a hoax
But covid targets us old folks
So, advice to geezers:
Please avoid sneezers
And other boorish blokes

Fun and Laughter at the “Café Noir”

Contributed by Marian Fuchs

Photo by Joyce Koch

The Drama Committee has done it again!  With a star-studded cast of glamorous and dangerous people, some great music, great costumes and wigs, and an audience who couldn’t stop laughing, our fellow residents gave us a gloriously enjoyable evening to remember.

Above you see Marilu Sherer, transformed by her golden hair into the beautiful ingenue;  Tom McCain as the cynical private eye, and an almost unrecognizable Marilyn Haskel as a vamp and a bar owner, and more…

They were joined by Don Zelman as a shady guy from the Middle East, Pat Howard as a tough lady with the most incredible eyelashes, and Peter Fielding, with the right accent for a British Solicitor.

Grant Bagley had three roles, and got badly knifed in the back in one, but was the funniest as a pretty useless colonial Caribbean police inspector.

This was a whodunit, and the audience, sitting around having dinner between scenes, and imbibing from the bar, thanks to Yolanda, was supposed to guess the murderer.  Most of us found the plot too complex to even try – but that couldn’t have mattered less.   What we enjoyed the most was seeing our talented actors ham it up, to hear them sing the lovely songs Marilyn had created, and the chansons sung in the intervals by the one-and-only Marion Henry, whose voice remains as pure as ever.

Below see Grant in his three different roles, and Marion singing while Margaret Bagley plays piano.

It was, altogether a glorious evening to remember and cherish.


P1030463 (3)P1030461 (2)P1030448P1030465 (2)


Starting one Week from Tonight!

Take it from me, you will not be disappointed in this hilarious play performed by our very own Collingtonians.  It is really a hoot, or I should rather say a honk.

Three French veterans of the Great War—Gustave, Philippe, and Henri—sit ensconced on their terrace and bemoan the tedium of life in a home for old soldiers. Where are the glories of past campaigns; where are the women; why put up with Sister Madeleine? And what, pray, is so dangerous about February 12th? Why not flee to Indochina, or least have a picnic? And what are the waving poplars across the hill telling them? Perhaps they should join the flight of the wild geese.

Untitled copy

The play will be produced Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, November 15, 16, and 17 at 7:00 in the Collington Auditorium.